On December 28th, MTV aired an episode of 16 and Pregnant in which a teen mom finds herself pregnant again. Ultimately, she chooses abortion. There are myriad ways to unpack this episode but I'll focus on two:
Lessons for Sidewalk Counselors
If you are a sidewalk counselor and you haven't seen this
episode, you really must. It gives you an inside look to the decision making and thought process of an abortion minded woman. This is crucial in our work.
Here's my key takeway from the episode:
You often read in training documentation for sidewalk counselors not to use the word baby, at least initially. I've been thinking for some time this is wrong-headed and this episode tends to prove this out.
It's clear from the episode that this couple is either not informed or in denial about fetal development. Case in point: the boyfriend makes a comment to his pregnant girlfriend, Markai, that if he "did see 10 fingers and 10 toes, I wouldn't be able to do it" (the abortion). He also says not to think of that "thing" as a baby. The abortion facility counselor also told her not to think of it as 10 fingers, 10 toes, and a forehead. And to think of it as it is, a clump of cells. Markai was 6 weeks pregnant. Does this look like a clump of cells to you?
Live Action has
documented over and over again the lies that abortion clinics tell their clients about fetal development. Planned Parenthood instructs its employees not to use the word baby in the clinic. It is a forbidden word. Because PP knows that they can diffuse the risks of the abortion and the ugly post-abortive pictures but what they cannot do is break the bond of mother to baby. So they won't use the word. It's tissue, a blob of cells, a mass. It's anything BUT a baby.
Pregnant women considering abortion may not be informed about the current state of development of the child they are carrying but what was also evident from the episode is the women did know that the supposed clump of cells does become a baby should the baby be carried to term.
Markai, post-abortion, pointed to her 1st daughter and told her boyfriend, "nothing but a bunch of cells can be her". Another post-abortive woman, who they featured in their discussion panel after the episode aired, said that she stayed at a hotel after the abortion because she knew that she could not go home and be around her sister's baby. Then this wounded soul started to cry. More on that later.
So, sidewalk counselors - use the word BABY. Use it early and often. Re-establish the bond. Make the baby real. Find out how many weeks pregnant she is and tell her about her baby. Remind her about the outcome of a pregnancy - a full, human person. Planned Parenthood doesn't want to use the word baby. Do we need any other evidence on why we should use the word?
Another lesson: Never in the episode do you hear the couple think about what is best for the baby. They think of the impact to their 1st child and to their lives but never about the impact to the baby. Help the mom think of the baby's rights and considerations as you counsel her.
MTV Gives Unbalanced View on Abortion...Duh.
Between the episode itself and Dr. Drew's commentary, it was obvious that MTV wanted to minimize the impact of abortion on the woman. The episode failed to adequately balance its commentary with the
risks inherent in the procedure and did not discuss to any real extent the life long trauma many, many women have after the abortion. The episode didn't discuss
Pregnancy Resource Centers or invite on their panel a post-abortive woman who openly regrets her abortion. And there are
many. I will give MTV credit for not editing out Markai's pain. It accurately demonstrates the heartache women feel about abortion. And why this pain? Because in the end, a woman knows she is ending the life of her child.
Finally, Markai made a comment that has stayed with me. She said, post-abortion, "I wonder if we could have made a better one (decision)." Yes, my dearest, you could have. And this is why I sidewalk counsel: to tell these women they are strong enough. They are courageous enough. And I and others will help you.